Help for kids is only a few clicks away
August 24, 2010
Andrea Gordon
FAMILY ISSUES REPORTER
Children do think ahead. Just ask the counsellors at Kids Help Phone.
By early August, the anonymous counselling service was already hearing from kids and teens steeped in back-to-school stress.
Worries about bullying, fitting in, making friends and the pressure to get good marks have been coming up for weeks in phone calls and online questions posted at www.kidshelpphone.ca like this one:
I know it's a little early to be worring (sic) about September but I’m already having sleepless nights and anxieity (sic). I am the one everyone likes to pick on.
For others, jitters about starting a new school loom large:
I feel... nervous about my classes, shy about making new friends, scared about getting lost.
Counsellor Aren Van Delden recently fielded a call from an 8-year-old boy who was teased by other kids last year and is scared about what will happen back in the schoolyard.
She also spent 15 minutes talking to a Grade 8 girl anxious about whether a certain guy would still be interested after the summer or if he’d ignore her.
The counselling service, aimed at kids ages 5 to 20, is available across Canada. There are no fees, and no appointment is necessary. Kids can call or post questions online as many times as they need. It’s confidential and anonymous — no Caller ID, no numbers recorded on cellphone bills.
The queries always increase this time of year and as anxiety levels build, Kids Help Phone, a charity that relies on donations, is launching a public awareness campaign. It is sending out material to schools across the country.
The message: no problem is too small for counsellors to help with.
When kids call, they frequently say “I don’t know if this is serious enough,” says Van Delden, a therapist and Kids Help Phone counsellor for the past 10 years.
“But small problems can grow into bigger ones. Kids need to hear ‘don’t walk around with these issues all by yourself, we all need help sometimes.’ ”
Self-esteem is fragile in adolescence, navigating relationships can be tricky. Kids need someone to listen, a safe place to talk.
“One of the big perceptions, and this hasn’t really changed, is that we’re a crisis line for really troubled kids,” says Ellen Réthoré, vice-president of marketing and communications. And while the service started out that way 21 years ago and still counsels children and youth facing such trauma as sexual assault or suicidal feelings, it has shifted dramatically in the last decade.
“We really want kids to understand you don’t have to have a big problem to contact Kids Help Phone,” says Réthoré. “When children don’t talk about it or reach out, the problem grows in their head.”
The organization receives roughly 210,000 phone calls a year and 25,000 online questions. Questions posted on the website, along with the personalized answers from counsellors, are viewed by others an average of 88 times.
Topics range from fights with parents to eating disorders, problems with friends and sexual identity. On the website, the bullying section receives three times as many page views as the next most popular topic.
Van Delden says there are common themes in the way kids who call are feeling. Many believe their parents don’t understand. Most feel alone.
Among the agency’s 100 counsellors, who are all trained professionals and not volunteers, the goal is to collaborate with the callers and instill some hope.
They don’t tell them what to do, says Van Delden. Instead, they ask questions, and try to help children work their way through possible solutions.
The No. 1 way kids and youth hear about the service is through their school, says Réthoré. She would be happy if parents were also bigger promoters.
“Many think it’s an amazing and wonderful service — for someone else’s kid. But it’s for your kid and the kid next door.”
Reach Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868 or www.kidshelpphone.ca