Motherlode
Sommerfeld: Wii Fit is an age-defying piece of equipment
August 29, 2010
Lorraine Sommerfeld
SPECIAL TO THE STAR
As we pulled into a parking lot the other day, Ari, 15, and I noticed a trend. The spots with handicapped markers had been extended.
“They’ve like, doubled them,” he noted.
“With an aging population, we’re going to be seeing more things like this,” I explained.
“Oh. You mean Baby Boomers. Who are old,” he replied.
“Hey! By some counts, I’m a Baby Boomer, buddy. I was born in the last year, 1964.”
“Yeah. Old people.”
“Be quiet. And remember, I’m really only 34.”
Last Christmas I asked for, and received, a Wii Fit. This is a video workout that I thought I could adhere to. I could do it in the privacy of my home, wearing ugly comfortable clothes, and nobody would have to know. My sister Gilly had been using it for months and loved it. I commented last fall how great she looked.
“You got that butt with Wii Fit?” I asked her.
“Yup. Well, that and the swine flu,” she replied.
We finally got it set up a few days ago. I’m not one to rush into things, obviously. I have been calling it Wii Sweat, which nobody but me finds funny. Ari has patiently explained that until I actually do it, I’m not sweating.
You have to go through a setting up process, where you answer questions. As I was concentrating on not falling off the little platform, Ari worked the hand thing to answer questions. You select a figure to represent you. I started to debate whether my figure should be wearing her glasses or not. Ari sighed, and told me it really didn’t matter.
You put in your height and age. You go through a series of exercises to determine your balance. With Ari giggling like an idiot on the couch, I carefully made my way through. At the end, the system told me I was 34 in Wii Fit years. I screamed. Ari jumped.
“I’m only 34!”
“It can’t see you. You’re not 34,” he replied. “Move over.” Ari went through the set-up process himself, determined to prove that Wii Fit wasn’t my brilliant new best friend. We waited together while it processed his information. In Wii Fit years, my 15-year-old son was . . . 15.
“See?” he said. “If you’re 34, I should be about 6. It’s busted.”
Two days later, Ari asked if I’d worked out yet. I hadn’t. I was waiting for the right time. I like to work in the mornings, it was too hot in the afternoons, and at night somebody might like to sit on the couch to watch TV. And drink wine.
“You’re just going to tell everyone you’re 34 in Wii years and never work out, aren’t you?” he asked. This is exactly what I had planned to do.
“Of course not! I’ll start tomorrow.”
I was talking to my friend Janie, who is a couple of years older than I am. Tall and slender and in terrific shape, she does yoga and all manner of sporty things. I told her I was going to start Wii Fitting.
“Oh, I have one of those,” she said.
“I’m 34,” I said smugly.
“It said I’m 58.” I processed this information. “I just skip past that part. It’s a pretty fun workout, even if it lies,” she concluded.
I am starting today. But I will not be skipping past that first part. 34 is the nicest thing I’ve been called in ages.
Lorraine Sommerfeld appears Mondays in Living and Saturdays in Wheels. Reach her at www.lorraineonline.ca.