Tori Stafford's troubled dad turns life around
October 13, 2009
Raveena Aulakh
STAFF REPORTER
Tori would have been proud of the man her father has become.
"It's the thing that keeps me going ... that what I am doing would have made her happy," says Rodney Stafford. "Yes, I think she would have been proud."
Stafford is the father of 8-year-old Victoria, who went missing from Woodstock, Ont., on April 8. Her remains were discovered in Mount Forest in July. Two Woodstock residents, Michael Rafferty, 29, and Terri-Lynne McClintic, 19, face first-degree murder.
Despite Tori's death, her father has turned his life around.
Stafford, who admitted to doing drugs, was a drifter and often wasn't around for his children. Victoria, known as Tori, changed that. In February, he cleaned up, moved back home to Ingersoll, Ont., and returned to school.
In April, Tori went missing.
Stafford, who had started Grade 12 classes, was thrust into the limelight along with his ex-wife, Tori's mother Tara McDonald. In the next two months, as the search for Tori continued in the glare of the national media, Stafford was a voice of reason in the cacophony of allegations, counter-allegations and conspiracy theories.
When his daughter's remains were found in Mount Forest on July 20, he comforted his family, friends and strangers.
Days after burying his daughter, he began planning a bike ride to Edmonton in Tori's memory and to raise awareness, with Child Find Ontario, about child abduction. The ride started Aug. 5 from Woodstock and ended Sept. 19 in Edmonton. He covered 3,500 kilometres in 45 days and raised more than $25,000.
He also climbed Whistlers Mountain in Jasper, which Tori visited last summer, and released a single purple balloon for her – purple was Tori's favourite colour.
The idea of a bike ride started as a way to clear his mind, says Stafford, who will turn 34 in a few days.
"But I also realized that Victoria's story had gone global and everyone knew her. But there are other children, too ... who we don't know. The bike ride was for all kids."
The ride was a success in creating heightened awareness about abducted and missing children.
"Wherever Rodney went, people reached out to him ... and by the end, he would be consoling them," says Terry Smith, assistant director of Child Find Ontario. "He's humbling to watch."
In many cases, parents of abducted or murdered children get involved with organizations working for children's safety. Stafford is not unusual but his drive to make a difference is incredible, she says.
Stafford has done several events with Child Find Ontario.
"He's taken his grief and anger and channelled it in a remarkable way," says Smith. "He's a man with a mission and he's becoming a champion for kids' safety."
Stafford is glad he's making a difference. "But I question why did it have to be me ... why did Tori have to go away like this."
After losing his daughter in such a horrific way, he was distraught with grief and guilt for not always being there for her.
He knew it would have been easy to fall into his old life, squandering away his second chance.
"But that's not what Tori would have wanted," says Stafford, his voice strong.
He starts school on Oct. 30 and has one credit to complete. Before Tori went missing, he had set his heart on working with Corrections Canada. Now he sees himself working with children – he doesn't know yet how but he says there's nothing else he wants to do.
It's his way of staying close to his daughter and making up. He visits the cemetery every week, lies down on the grass next to her grave and talks – mostly apologizing.
His family, girlfriend Whitney Roth and son Daryn, are proud of him. But no one more so than Tori.
He knows that.
Toronto Star